1066 and all that : $b A memorable history of England, comprising all the parts you can remember, including 103 good things, 5 bad kings and 2 genuine dates

How it begins

The first date⁠[1] in English History is 55 B.C., in which year Julius Cæsar (the memorable Roman Emperor) landed, like all other successful invaders of these islands, at Thanet. This was in the Olden Days, when the Romans were top nation on account of their classical education, etc. Julius Cæsar advanced very energetically, throwing his cavalry several thousands of paces over the River Flumen; but the Ancient Britons, though all well over military age, painted themselves true blue, or woad, and fought as heroically under their dashing queen, Woadicea, as they did later in thin red lines under their good queen, Victoria.